Valentine's Day Update

Hello Dear Friends,

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything here, so I thought I’d give you a health update.

To begin with, this being the month of February and with Valentine’s Day this past week, we wanted to wish you love and happiness EVERY day of the year! This photo was taken pretty much at the time when our own love affair started. In fact, this has to be our very first selfie!

In the personal news department, we've had an exciting start to the year. Low immunities allowed Shingles to afflict me. Then, when I went to the local Urgent Care for medication, I contracted COVID-19, courtesy of another patient who was coughing and hacking in the waiting room! And since we share everything, Jim came down with it before we even knew that I had it. And that's despite us having every vaccine available. (Except for kennel cough, rabies, and distemper...and the vet is all set to give us those when we take Marlo in for his next visit.)

Happily, after five days of Paxlovid anti-virals, we're both on the mend. I still have pain from the Shingles, but I’m toughing my way through it.

On other news of my cancer, the last scans did show problems with my kidney stent, but we couldn’t do anything about it because of low immunities. The good news is that once I started feeling better, all the appointments were back on the calendar. I’ll be seeing my oncologist next week to go over the rest of the results of my scans, and I’m already scheduled for a stent replacement the first week in March.

As William Arthur Ward once said, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. I’m grateful, grateful, grateful.  As always, thank you for your ongoing kindness and love and support. Your messages and cards are always a joy for us both. You ARE the best!

Supportive Language with Cancer Patients

As I approach my one-year anniversary of getting diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer, I think one of the saddest statements people make to me is saying innocently, ‘You'll be fine!' Although these comments are well-intentioned, they DO often invalidate my feelings.

What I have isn't a chronic disease. It will kill me. The goal and the hope is for it someday becoming a chronic disease. But we're not there yet.

Please check out these two short and informative articles.

https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/post/talk-with-loved-ones?postId=a364283d-fc70-425b-9aac-93595a069ccc&utm_campaign=6c296ec0-9205-4ef8-aff8-09e8689f4eb5&utm_source=so&utm_medium=mail&utm_content=9e027de3-f8ce-40df-b0a9-0c37a19a024e&cid=064092a9-796a-4f8d-834d-ae2ea30dca0e&fbclid=IwAR1rvLhp6RQnFI6tJPfHdHfy1wcz28wAi6YT0x6mZxXYtNx4jC7AeUwIz4I

https://breastcancernow.org/about-us/news-personal-stories/battling-brave-or-victim-why-language-cancer-matters

As always, posting this with love and gratitude for all your prayers and warm support.

First CT Scan Update of 2023

Hi Friends—

Today's appointment with the oncologist was a positive one. The scans show a slight improvement in the previous cancerous areas, and even more important, there are no new areas that are lighting up. This news is like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds after a stormy week. Actually, a stormy nine months (since my diagnosis).

Also, my dosage of chemo is being adjusted, and I will now be on two weeks on, two weeks off, which will allow my blood counts to improve in between treatments.

Jim and I want to express our sincere gratitude to all of you who have been praying for me, sending positive vibes, and keeping me and our family in your thoughts. Your love and support have been a constant source of comfort and encouragement, day after day. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful community around me.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you all. Again, your love and support mean the world to all of us. We love you all and are incredibly grateful for each and every one of you.

Finding a New Me! (or Finding the Oxymoronic ‘New Normal’)

I’m one month into my oral chemo regimen, so last week I had the periodic checkup with my oncologist. Although she reminded me again that there is no cure, she thinks I’m doing great, but all the following things were also part of the conversation:

• Your white blood counts are extremely low

• You need a pelvis MRI over the next couple of weeks.

• Your next kidney stent replacement surgery is next week

• Tumor marker tests need to be done in September

• CT scan in October

• Early in the treatment, but we suspect this chemo is working, as your ascites pain is lessening, but we won’t really know until all the above tests are done.

In so many words, welcome to my new life, my new me, my new normal.

A statistic that isn’t always shared with patients is that nearly 30% of women diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer develop metastatic disease. There’re many of us who are dealing with this new normal.

It’s only been weeks, but I’ve already learned to accept imperfect test results and uncertainty in my day to day life.

And outside of the oncologist office?

A beautiful yellow bird flew right past my window about a minute ago, reminding me that I cannot succumb to worry about what cannot be known and what cannot be fixed. I live in the moment and appreciate what is around me. I continuously remind myself what my oncologist told me after the diagnoses. Your cancer is not “beatable” but “livable.” There are days when I look and feel well and healthy. There are days that I don’t. So, I live, live, live, every minute that I have, especially now that our son and daughter-in-law and two grandchildren are visiting, and our life is full of toothless and drooly smiles from the seven-month-old, and energetic running around with our four-year-old, who fits the words ‘Grandma’ and ‘Pop’ into every other sentence as she creates beautiful art.

But what will Jim and I do after they go home next week?

We’ll take our time to accept and adapt to the new new normal.

We’ll focus on what is most meaningful to us and brings us joy:

• each other

• Our spiritual journey and belief

• Facetime with grandchildren and their parents

• get together with our younger son and his amazing fiancée

• reach out to friends, family, and loved ones

• check in regularly with the amazing Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) support group that I am now a member of

• practice complementary therapies (like acupuncture and Qigong)

• eat the most nutritious diet for our needs

• exercise regularly

• manage stress…somehow

How do you live, live, live?

A friend has been kind enough to set up a GoFundMe fundraiser.

Here is the link to that page.