A Definite Diagnosis and a Plan...

June 29, 2022

Finally…

Four months of tests and I now have a diagnosis.

Metastatic lobular breast cancer with metastasis to peritoneum, ascites, and possibly bone cancer.

Is it tough to hear this? Yes.

It means that the breast cancer that I fought nineteen years ago was not defeated, just pushed back. It has been lurking, slowly growing, and waiting for a moment to resurface elsewhere in my body. The cancer cells that are sprinkled throughout my abdomen are EXACTLY the same breast cancer cells.

My reaction? All the things cancer can NOT DO. The words out of the oncologist’s mouth were clear and POSITIVE: ”This is serious. But although it’s not curable, it’s treatable.”

So, it begins. I have already started one medication. Another starts in a couple of weeks, once I recover from the surgery. As I mentioned earlier, I now have a chemo port in my chest that they’ll use to draw blood for tests. No poking me with a needle every two weeks.

This treatment should work to slow the growth and spread of the cancer for 2-5 years, before it develops a resistance. Then, we go from there. Who can tell what new treatments will be available then?

I couldn’t get to this point, this state of mind, without you my friends. Please, keep all the prayers and positivity coming, and please remember all the things cancer CANNOT do.

Love you.

And thank you to the person who posted online the image we’ve borrowed and inserted here. Much love to you.

We’ve been resisting this, but some of our friends have been pressing us to let them help. Medical costs are gradually mounting, so…if you care to make a donation, our PayPal address is

NikooandJim@gmail.com

Medical Professionals and Love

April 26, 2022

Harmony. Positivity. Voyage. Creativity.

This is the way I will approach this battle.

Once again, I find I am in awe of how kind the people are who work with cancer patients.

Today was PET scan day. Full body, looking for cancer. From the smiling receptionist Josh, who knew every patient’s name, to Jack the medical technician, who had the best meditation music ever AND found my vein on the first try. These professionals are awesome.

The test is behind me now. The next step is the biopsy on Monday.

Meanwhile, creativity is on the agenda. Jim and I are writing away this afternoon. Well, trying to stay focused.

Love you, friends. Smile and enjoy your today and make your plans for tomorrow. That’s what we’re doing.

And by the way, thank you once again for all the cards. They sit in a basket on my desk, and I smile every time I look over at them. I call them my ‘treasure trove’.

Patience vs Action

April 19, 2022

Patience has never been my strong suit. Never.

Well, Jim and I are learning quickly that we have to adopt it as a middle name.

The biopsy of fluid (ascites) drawn from my abdomen region, and a PET scan will be done next week.

The week after that, the doctors will decide if we have enough information or if I have to go through a bone biopsy, as well. Learning what a bone biopsy entails sort of encourages the development of patience. Even so, I want to know what exactly I’m facing, and what treatment we’ll be pursuing.

Meanwhile, there are writing days, beach walks, admiring the neighbors’ flowers, reading, more writing, and of course praying, practicing qigong, and…oh yes, forcing myself to be patient.

And the most important activity of all, being thankful for Jim and my kids and all of you. Love you all so much.

Here is some beauty from our local Southern California beach.

Appreciation for Empathy

April 13, 2022

 The oncologist visit…

The right and left sides of my brain i were out in full force today. Jim and I made a list of all the questions we were going to ask.

We prayed, chanted, and cheered each other up on the drive over to the oncologist. We were smiling when we walked into UCLA Cancer office in Laguna Hills, and the receptionist was beyond sweet. The nurse who took us in was also kind and cheerful and absolutely pleasant.

Then the doctor walked in. He greeted us and and the first thing he said was, “Nikoo, i’m sorry you’re going through this. But don’t worry, we’ll take care of you. “

This was when the tears came And then he hugged me.

These people are heroes in my eyes. Empathy is an amazing thing.

So, this is what’s ahead for me, right now…biopsies and a PET Scan over the next two weeks. We’ll start treatment around mid-May.

Love you, friends. Please keep the prayers and the positivity coming.

A Surprise Kidney Adventure

April 2, 2022

Good morning!

A little update and some observations, my loved ones…

Yesterday I went to the hospital for a procedure, and they ended up putting a stent in my ureter to drain the right kidney. It was closed off and looked ready to burst, they tell me. They’ll go back to biopsy the ureter in three weeks. One good thing, the surgeon says there is no sign of cancer in the bladder. And I’m already feeling so much better, as I don’t have the throbbing pain in my side.

Some pre-op observations:

-nurses are angels. I always knew that, but it got confirmed again yesterday.

- my right arm can’t be used for blood draw or pressure cuffs because of my past history with breast cancer. Wearing a pink cuff never is enough. So my attending nurse made it a fun activity to draw and tape and write on the arm. I think she had really DID have fun with it. So did I, watching her. Definitely a mood booster.

- left with one good arm, putting an IV line in is a nightmare. I regularly get poked multiple times. But yesterday, after one poke they called in the expert. He showed up with an ultrasound device. And sure enough, they got the vein on the next try.

- I can’t say enough about the kindness and sense of humor of the anesthesiologist. She loved the name ‘Nikoo’, and she and nurses decided to make up a song about Nikoo on the way to surgery. Of course, I was out cold halfway there.

Keep the prayers and good vibes coming. Love you all so much.

My Earlier Fight with Cancer

March 26, 2022

We can’t always be in control of all of the situations that happen to us in life, but we can change the way we experience them.

Nineteen years ago, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I reached out to you, my friends. Your support, your prayers helped me go through that journey.

And here I am back again.

I want to thank you for all your prayers, all your love. I am already a different person than the one who got the news two nights ago. Thank you.

Jim and I appreciate you. Keep the positivity coming.

We love you.

Trouble Brewing

March 25, 2022

I’ve decided it’s best to let you know what is happening, since more and more of you wonderful friends are showering us with texts.

A gallbladder scan last week, led to a CT scan yesterday and I (Nikoo) was called with the results last night by my doctor.

Bladder and bone cancer.

Prognosis, how advance it is and what is next depends on what the team at UCLA puts together.

I am in shock. Jim is my rock. And we sure can use all the prayer and love you’re sending us.